


Crying 'cause you weren't around

by Justanotherwriter123



Series: Prompts [4]
Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Don't exactly know what to say, Driver's License - song inspiration, F/F, Highschool AU, track
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28736934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanotherwriter123/pseuds/Justanotherwriter123
Summary: Maya's life had always been planned out until someone came and turned her world upside down. But nothing is perfect - can she handle the stress of being an High School Olympic prospect and a relationship??
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Series: Prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065992
Comments: 7
Kudos: 54





	Crying 'cause you weren't around

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! I had fun writing this so I hope you enjoy reading!

It was 11pm. It was silent. The air was warm. The sun was gone. 

Maya was driving, she didn’t know exactly where she was, but she needed to escape. She found solace in the silence of the night. Being the only person on the road gave her something she had never felt anywhere else. Well, except for one place. But, that place was no longer hers. So, the empty roads would have to suffice. 

Music sounded within the safe confines other car, the bass vibrating against her feet every so often as her hand tapped against the steering wheel, and her head subconsciously nodded along to the beat. She was allowing herself to be totally enveloped by the sound, ignoring everything else in the world. All the stress, and the anxiety, and the worries of life were behind her. Nothing else mattered to her when she was driving at night. The pain slipped away. 

2 months ago, her life had been perfect. Well, almost. As Maya had come to find out - nothing was ever perfect. Not when you looked close enough. From a distance, everything can look whole and polished and calm. But, the closer you got, and the longer you stared you can see the small cracks and the fuzziness and the holes, the discrepancies that everyone looks over. Because what you refuse to see fails to exist - right? 

Deep down she knew they were struggling, and looking back she had a feeling the other did as well but it was just one of those things they ignored because it was easier than admitting the truth. 

Maya had been an 11th grade high school student. She was captain of the track team and was 2 time national champion, going for her third; she’d set records and broken them. Ever since she was a kid she’d had a plan. It was more like her dad’s plan, but his plans became her plans and his dreams became her dreams. The Olympics. The holy grail of athletic talent all in one place, every four years. The battle of the fittest, the fastest and the best. It was the place where people become legendary. Maya’s greatest desire was to become legendary, to walk out of that arena a winner, a champion. 

Every single aspect of her life had a plan to it, a method, a means and a way of execution. It was expected. An easy prediction. Train, race, win. Simple. 5 am starts, strict meal plans and nutrition ever since she’d first set foot on a track. 'To be the best, you have too out-train the best.' That was what her dad had told her - those were the words he’d beaten into her brain. She knew them backwards, forwards and everyone other way - she could probably say them in a foreign language at this point. It was how she lived her life. Until, someone came into her life that wasn’t in the plan. That wasn’t expected. That had never and could never of been predicted. 

She’d seen her from her locker, the first time they’d even locked eyes was right there. Where it had all started. A simple stare had changed everything. 

People say that love at first can be rare, what most feel is a simulated boost of serotonin in the body from a new experience that it was one different from its usual routine. Not love, but merely a spike in hormones. But, whatever Maya had felt that day hadn’t been the result of a few hormonal reactions because when she’d looked into those chestnut coloured eyes from across her locker in the hallway, her entire future flashed by her so quick she’d had to grip onto the metal door in her hands to keep her balance. 

Morning breakfasts in bed, cosy winters by the fireplaces wrapped in blankets, hot summer walks, senseless conversations and mindless hours just looking into each other’s eyes. They flashed through her like snapshots of her life, captured in a second but lasting a lifetime. 

Even Andy had looked at her concerned, she’d told her she’d just felt a bit light-headed and blamed it on tiredness from the start of the school week that always inevitably came. But, she knew right then, right there that she was in love. In that moment, she hadn’t been able to find the worlds for what she was feeling but whatever remote part of her brain that was able to stimulate this reaction was going off like crazy. 

She’d torn her eyes away as quickly as she’d locked in on them, needing a second to collect herself, because the air had quite literally evaporated from her lungs, or at least was what it had felt like. 

She was smart. Incredibly so. It marvelled Maya how someone could know so much and about so many different things from art to culture to literature to science, she had knowledge about everything. It was endearing and Maya could listen to her talk for hours, and she did. 

2 months after they’d first locked eyes they were together. It had taken 4 dates for Maya to finally ask the question that she knew would only solidify the feeling that consumed her entire body. Carina was everything to Maya. While running had always been the only thing on her mind and anything else was simply background noise Carina had quickly taken running’s place. 

Her life had become a 90s romance movie. She’d sneak out at 10pm when she knew her parents would be asleep to go to Carina’s, sit on the small balcony by her window and they’d look up at the stars and talk and some days they wouldn’t. Some days, they simply wouldn’t say anything at all, them being wrapped up in each other’s arms was enough for them to know how one another felt. 

Carina would wear Maya’s track jacket around the halls, the bold white letters of BISHOP letting anyone who didn’t already know who she was with. Everything was perfect. Late-night dates, romantic gifts, morning texts and night texts that would make a bad day better in an instant. 

But, as we all know - nothing is ever perfect. 

They were in different social circles - Carina was with the quieter, nerdier groups of people which she was incredibly comfortable with. They all shared a like mindedness of knowledge, she felt accepted with them - something that was always hard as a newcomer in 11th grade. 

Maya was a jock, plain and simple. She had the jacket, or well Carina had her jacket, but it followed the same principal. She had the trophies and the awards and the records and the titles and she had the friends. Everyone in her friend group was athletically gifted in some way. Dean and Jack were on the football team, Robert, or ‘Rob’ as they called him was on the basketball team, Andy was on the girl’s soccer with Vic as well as the basketball team. It was where she had met Rob and when they’d started dating. Travis had moved schools last year after his family had moved states but he’d been on the soccer team. While they were a close group, Maya had always felt a disconnect. She’d never had friends growing up, friends were a distraction. She didn’t need friends to be a champion. 

Distractions. ‘You have too many distractions Maya. Everything we have worked for, everything I have worked for will be a waste. Do you understand?!’ Those had been the words that had started it all. 

Her Dad had found out about her relationship with Carina 6 months after it had happened. She’d avoided talking about whenever he had been in the room, and just tagged her frequent disappearances on extra track practice or schoolwork. Which he seemed to have taken for a while, until her times and grades had failed to shift from where they should have been given she was always at ‘practice’ or ‘study group’. 

Carina had tried to get Maya to take school more seriously - to apply herself to her lessons but Maya said her GPA was at a pass and that was good enough. Her running would get her where she’d need to be, not the fact that she couldn’t arrange a chemical equation, or remember the analytical reasoning behind the Great Gatsby. Maya loved to listen to Carina talk about anything really. 

The brunette wanted to be a Doctor, to follow in her papa’s footsteps. So she’d taken AP Biology, Chemistry, Maths as well as Italian but that was more for the qualification than anything. They would sit in Carina’s room or the car or the park and Maya would look up at the ceiling or the sky and just listen to the smooth and soft voice of the woman who had claimed her heart. She loved when she would talk science - she wasn’t exactly sure why, because personally she had no interest, maybe it was the passion and enthusiasm that the other girl had for it that made her smile. 

But after her Dad’s words and strict warning - she began to put her training back to where it should be. She forced herself to be focused and disciplined - she began running close to 100 miles a week which was insane for any normal person but on top of school she was exhausted all the time. 

Her Dad was on her case more than ever after he’d found out about her relationship. What didn’t help her case either was that it was with a girl rather than a guy. It wasn’t the ideal way she had planned to tell her dad about her sexuality but at least it was out there. Her brother and mother had known for a while and were very supportive of her, so it wasn’t all bad. 

With the constant training and Bishop household lockdown which she seemed to have been under it made it incredibly hard for Maya to see Carina. Sure, they saw one another in school but it wasn’t the same. Something had shifted between them. Maya had been cancelling dates, not sending goodnight texts due to her falling asleep as soon as she laid down. 

The words of her Dad seemed to echo in her head, different ones to those had had constantly repeated but these were as equally stern and distressing for the Maya - ‘Family is forever Maya. We are all you have - don’t throw it away by fooling around.’ It was a warning, plan and simple. If she continued her relationship, putting the chances of her shot at the Olympics in jeopardy she would be done. Her Dad didn’t acknowledge losers. 

The couple hid their issues with secret make-out sessions in empty classrooms and sex whenever they had more than 30 minutes alone. They tried so hard it was painful. It became painful for those around them who could see how much they loved each other. Maya’s friends had told her as such, told her she had changed was more relaxed with Carina around. Maya couldn’t be relaxed, she couldn’t afford to calm down - she had one shot to finally prove herself to her Dad and she refused to mess it up. 

Summer break went as quickly as it had come - 8 weeks of no school was exactly what Maya needed. She was given some more freedom and had used it it try and be with Carina but long days on the track made it hard. College scouts were on the lookout and this was Maya’s pathway to the Olympics. She wanted, more like needed, a place at a university that had an Olympics program in it - spaces were rare and were reserved for only the best. 

When they returned back to school, the couple had seen each other in 2 weeks thanks to a training camp she had been forced to attend half way across the country - it was also a technology free; no distractions camp which meant she hadn’t been able to text the brunette either or call her and hear the voice that calmed her nerves when they were at their peak. 

So when they saw each other in the hallway the air felt tense and awkward, like they were strangers and it hurt. It physically pained Maya to see Carina. 

But, then things only seemed to go from bad to worse. The first week of 12th grade brought in a new student. Arizona Robbins. She was a year older than everybody else due to the constant move around she had endured from living on army bases across the world and because Carina was by far the smartest student in their year the principal had asked her to show her around. 

Maya had quickly deducted that Arizona was the opposite of herself, well almost. She was also incredibly smart taking all the same classes with Carina apart from Italian, also had an interest in being a doctor and was happy all the time. She seemed care-free and was full of positive energy. She talked to everyone and very quickly was known by the entire year. 

Maya became jealous, incredibly quickly. Carina had been spending all most all of her time with Arizona. They sat at the same table, had all their classes together and would spend the weekend together. Even if Maya had the time to see her girlfriend she wouldn’t have been able to. 

So, one day after the final bell had sounded for the day Maya went in search of Carina to try and sort something out, perhaps they could arrange a lunch date or something, Maya would be up for anything at this point. But, as she turned the corner to head into the Science Department; where she hoped Carina would be, she was stopped in her tracks as her phone began to ring. She picked it up without looking at the caller ID but internally sighed when she heard the voice on the other end. 

“Maya. I have managed to find us some time on the track, tonight. We can get into more practice before the week is up, remember the college…”

“College scouts - yeah Dad I know. I’m on my way back now - I just forgot to grab a book.”

“Okay - meet me there in 10. You got your kit I presume?” 

“Already packed.” 

With that the phone line went dead. She let out a frustrated groan but turned back on her heel and jogged back to her car. 

3 weeks later, she was a 3x National Champion and single. She’d had an in depth conversation with one of the best college scouts in the country who had praised her dedication and discipline to the sport. He’d joked with her and said most people he’d see were although talented had too much going on to be 100% dedicated; they had relationships and social events that took priority He wanted someone like Maya who he could count on to always be the best she could possibly be, no matter what. 

So, she officially ended it with Carina. It was one of the worst decisions she had ever made in her life. She was miserable almost all the time; at least before she still had Carina, now she was alone. 

When they’d first got together Carina had said to her one night that they would be forever, because it felt like the forever kind of love. The love that would never die. Maya saw her everywhere - in the classrooms they used to make-out in, the coffee shop that became one of their regular spots, in the hallways at school - she couldn’t escape her. Even when she wasn’t there physically Maya saw her, in the stands at her races, in the car next to her when they’d laugh at each other’s antics while stuck in traffic. 

Her friends had noticed it as well, they’d told her to try and make it work. To give herself a piece of happiness in a life that was always in chaos. To allow herself to breathe. She told them she’d be happy when she won at the Olympics - after that they’d left her alone. She’d drown out her emotions through running, when she wasn’t at school she was on the track. From when the sun rose to when the sun set - it had put her in Dad’s good graces which was a positive bi-product of the storm that had wrecked havoc on her life. 

And now it was 12am. It was silent. The air was warm. The sun was gone. 

She had ended up in the suburbs, and subconsciously had found herself on Carina’s street. This had happened more times than she would like to admit. She was still so in love with Carina. Still 2 months later, every time she saw her her heart fluttered, just like it did the first time she’d ever set eyes on her. It pained her to continue her life as if nothing had happened - because that was the only way she could go about her day to act as if none of it had existed. Because the memory of her happiness, joy and love was unable to succeed the pain and loneliness that ultimately came with it. Every happy memory was stained with sadness. 

She shut the car off as she sat opposite Carina’s house, she could see she was still awake from the dim light that was coming from her windows. She was probably studying; listening to soft Italian music, a bowl of pretzels and popcorn on the corner of her bed. That was always how she’d studied, Maya had been there to see it, now she was just an outsider to the life she had lived before. 

She turned up the song that was playing to try and avoid the tears that she could feel coming but the lyrics only seemed to make them worse. 

“…To finally drive up to your house. But today I drove through the suburbs, crying ‘cause you weren’t around.” 

Maya guessed fate had a really messed up way of talking to her. She began to sense the anger coming up to the surface, the anger that she had lost the most important person in her life just to satisfy a dream that had been pushed on her so much she had been forced to accept it as her own. She knew they weren’t perfect together, they had their issues, but she’d never felt this way for no one. The part that hurt the most was that Maya seemed to be the only one hurting. Carina seemed to be okay now that she was gone. Maybe the brunette hadn’t meant forever, maybe they hadn’t been in love. Maybe it really was just a boost of hormones after all. 

Carina may not have been planned but she was the best thing that could have ever come into Maya’s life. Once she managed to collect her tears and reel her emotions back in, she started the engine again totally unbothered by how late it was and the loud noise she was ultimately making. She rolled the car away from the curb and the final lyrics of the song played out as she drove into the night. Into the peace and into the silence. 

“You said forever now I drive alone past your street.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?? This was loosely inspired by Olivia Rodrigo's Driving License which I love at the moment and had an idea of how to incorporate it into a song. Do you guys like song inspired fics - let me know!! But on the other hand, in light or many recent events both in the world and in the fandom I just want to say: Be nice and be happy!! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> See you next time!


End file.
